Priyam Chatterjee

PhD Candidate
Dept. of Electrical Engg.
University of California, Santa Cruz.

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Quotable Quotes

Currently there are 521 quotes.

If you have some good quote that is not on this list, please send it to me using the comments section. Believe me I am interested.

Last updated June 5 2009 02:56 PM
In reverse chronological order of addition

"Worry is like a rocking chair, it will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere."
-- In Van Wilder movie.
Sometime when you least expect it, Love will tap you on the shoulder... and ask you to move out of the way because it still isn't your turn."
-- N.V. Plyter
At first, when we truly love someone, our greatest fear is that the loved one will stop loving us. What we should fear and dread instead is that we won't stop loving them, even after they are dead and gone.
-- Gregory David Roberts in "Shantaram".
Nothing grieves more deeply or pathetically than one half of a great love that isn't meant to be.
-- Gregory David Roberts in "Shantaram".
Men reveal what they think when they look away, and what they feel when they hesitate. With women, it's the other way around.
-- Gregory David Roberts in "Shantaram".
A dream is a place where a wish and a fear meet. When the wish and fear are exactly the same, we call the dream a nightmare.
-- Gregory David Roberts in "Shantaram".
"Silence is the tortured mans revenge."
-- Gregory David Roberts in "Shantaram".
"Luck is what happens to you when fate gets tired of waiting."
-- Gregory David Roberts in "Shantaram".
"Some of the worst wrongs, were caused by people who tried to change things."
-- Gregory David Roberts in "Shantaram".
Fate gives all of us three teachers, three friends, three enemies, and three great loves in our lives. But these twelve are always disguised, and we can never know which one is which until we've loved them, left them, or fought them.
--Gregory David Roberts in "Shantaram".
"Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything exept tears. In the end that's all there is: love and its duty, sorrow and its truth. In the end that's all we have - to hold on tight until the dawn"
-- Gregory David Roberts in "Shantaram".
"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."
-- George Bernard Shaw
"There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it."
-- George Bernard Shaw
"The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me."
-- George Bernard Shaw
"Choose silence of all virtues, for by it you hear other men's imperfections, and conceal your own."
-- George Bernard Shaw
"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."
-- George Bernard Shaw
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
-- Oscar Wilde
"I'm an atheist, and I thank God for it."
-- George Bernard Shaw
"I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific."
--Lily Tomlin
"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?"
--Warren Hutcherson
"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh."
--Conan O'Brien
"My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there."
--Ron Richards
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner."
--Lynda Montgomery
"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
--Paul Rodriguez
"I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!' "
--Bruce Baum
"In a gathering of two or more people, when a lighted cigarette is placed in an ashtray, the smoke will waft into the face of the non-smoker."
-- Fortune cookies - Linux
"If it has syntax, it isn't user friendly."
-- Fortune cookies - Linux
"Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius."
-- Josh Billings
"Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment."
-- Robert Benchley
"I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamt that I was reading on, so I woke up from sheer boredom."
-- Unknown
"Remember, even if you win the rat race -- you're still a rat."
-- Fortune cookies - Linux
"Important principles may, and must, be inflexible."
-- Abraham Lincoln
"The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."
- Paula Poundstone
"It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are. If it doesn't agree with experiment, it's wrong."
-- Richard Feynman
"It's harder than you might think to squander millions of dollars, but a flawed software development process is a tool well suited to the job."
-- Alan Cooper
"All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men."
-- Isaac Asimov
Romance, like alcohol, should be enjoyed, but should not be allowed to become necessary.
-- Edgar Friedenberg
"He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last."
-- unknown
"Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about."
-- Philippe Schnoebelen
"What I like most about myself is that I'm so understanding when I mess things up."
-- unknown
"Everything I am today I owe to people, whom it is now too late to punish."
-- unknown
"A plastic surgeon's office the only place where no one gets offended when you pick your nose!"
-- Alfred Neumann
"Teenagers are people who act like babies if they're not treated like adults!"
-- Alfred Neumann
"The only advantage to living in the past is that the rents are much cheaper!"
-- Alfred Neumann
"If opera is entertainment, then falling off a roof is transportation!"
-- Alfred Neumann
"Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!"
-- Alfred Neumann
"Medical insurance is what allows people to be ill at ease!"
-- Alfred Neumann
"Smoking helps you lose weight -- one lung at a time!"
-- Alfred Neumann
"The fool wonders, the wise man asks."
-- Benjamin Disraeli
"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever."
-- Ancient Chinese proverb
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and be proved one ".
-- Abraham Lincoln
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
- Trevor Myers
"A penny saved is 1.39 cents earned, if you consider income tax."
- Unknown
"I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code."
- Unknown
"I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly."
- read on T-shirt
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."
- Chinese Proverb
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."
- Mark Twain
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid and don't say it.
- Sam Lavenson
Windows 95: 32 bit extension and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition.
-- Unknown
Life is like an onion: you peel off layer after layer, then you find there is nothing in it.
-- Unknown
Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
-- Unknown
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
-- Unknown
"Computer games don't affect kids... I mean, if Pacman affected us as kids, we'd all run around in a darkened room munching pills and listening to repetitive music."
-- Unknown
Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
-- Unknown
"Life begins when you can spend your spare time programming instead of watching television."
-- Cal Keegan
You have the right to free speech as long as you're not dumb enough to actually try it.
-- Unknown
Don't have good ideas if you aren't willing to be responsible for them.
-- Alan J. Perlis
Predicting is difficult, especially when it involves the future.
-- Unknown
Change is inevitable -- except from a vending machine.
-- Unknown
"If you think C++ is not overly complicated, just what is a protected abstract virtual base class with a pure virtual private destructor, and when was the last time you needed one?"
-- Tom Cargil, C++ Journal, Fall 1990.
"Sometimes it pays to stay in bed in Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debuging Monday's code."
-Dan Salomon
Base 8 is just like base 10, if you are missing two fingers.
-- Tom Lehrer
"The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little."
-Porterfield
"Quotes are nothing but inspiration for the uninspired."
--Richard Kemph
"God does not play dice with the universe"
--Albert Einstein
"Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best."
--Henry Van Dyke
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
--Albert Einstein
"Money, the root of all evil...but the cure for all sadness."
--Mike Gill
"Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what it is you want to hear."
--Alan Coren
"Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life."
--Michael Sinz
"Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand."
--Anon.
"If a train-station is where the train stops, what's a workstation...?"
--Anon.
"Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked."
--Jeff Pesis
"We're thinking about upgrading from SunOS 4.1.1 to SunOS 3.5."
--Henry Spencer
"By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, [journalism] keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community."
--Oscar Wilde
Elaine Dickinson: There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
--Airplane! (1980)
"When all men think alike, no one thinks very much."
--Walter Lippmann
"I used to dread getting older because I thought I would not be able to do all the things I wanted to do, but now that I am older I find that I don't want to do them."
--Nancy Astor
"Don't steal. The government hates competition."
--Anon.
"Don't take life seriously because you can't come out of it alive."
--Warren Miller
"Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned."
--Milton Friedman
"Today, if you are not confused, you are just not thinking clearly."
--U. Peter
"To the man who only has a hammer in the toolkit, every problem looks like a nail."
--Abraham Maslow
"I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image."
--Stephen Hawking
"Money talks...but all mine ever says is good-bye."
--Anon.
"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."
--Franklin D. Roosevelt
"JUDGE, n: A law student who marks his own papers."
--H.L. Mencken
"Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it."
--Dwight D Eisenhower
"If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today."
--Rotarian
"They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel."
--Carl W. Buechner
"Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress."
-- Mahatma Gandhi
"Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS..."
--Anon.
"A dwarf standing on the shoulders of a giant may see farther than a giant himself."
--Robert Burton
"Consistency is the last resort of the unimaginative."
--Oscar Wilde
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Governor George W. Bush
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
- Governor George W. Bush
"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
- George W. Bush
"Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger."
--Franklin Jones
"The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple."
--Oscar Wilde
"If wishes were horses, beggars would ride."
--James Halliwell, Nursery Rhymes of England, 1844
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times."
-Mark Twain
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards the sunlight.
--Rita Rudner
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
--Rita Rudner
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
--Robert Benchley
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
--Groucho Marx
"It's not enough that I should succeed -- others should fail."
--David Merrick
"I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them."
--Isaac Asimov
"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."
--W. Edwards Deming
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect."
--Mark Twain
"Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education."
--Bertrand Russell
"Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance or a stranger."
--Franklin Jones
Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.
--Oscar Wilde
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.
-- Oscar Wilde
To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.
-- Joan Klempner
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
-- Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
--Mark Twain
If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it.
-- Emerson Pugh
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
-- Franklin P. Jones
God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
-- Sir William Bragg
It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
-- Woody Allen
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
-- Mark Twain
Now I know what a statesman is; he's a dead politician. We need more statesmen.
-- Bob Edwards
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
-- Steven Wright
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
-- Jean Giraudoux
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
-- Jules de Gaultier
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
-- Alfred Adler
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
-- Andrew W. Mathis
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.
-- Voltaire
Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
-- Frank Leahy
Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime.
-- G. Gordon Liddy
You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.
-- Ray Bradbury, advice to writers
Man is equally incapable of seeing the nothingness from which he emerges and the infinity in which he is engulfed.
-- Blaise Pascal
Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
-- Fred Allen
A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.
-- Ludwig Erhard
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
-- Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson (1894)
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time.
-- E. B. White, New Yorker, July 3, 1944
Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
-- Elbert Hubbard
The greatest mystery is not that we have been flung at random between the profusion of matter and of the stars, but that within this prison we can draw from ourselves images powerful enough to deny our nothingness.
-- Andre Malraux
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
-- Norm Crosby
Research is the process of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Marston Bates
I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.
-- Beryl Pfizer
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
-- An English Professor, Ohio University
Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.
-- Jonathan Winters
Is there life before death?
-- Graffito, in Belfast
Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller
The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
-- Casey Stengel
Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars.
-- Hobart Brown
We are more ready to try the untried when what we do is inconsequential. Hence the fact that many inventions had their birth as toys.
-- Eric Hoffer
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
-- Unknown
Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears.
-- Robert W. Sarnoff
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
-- Elbert Hubbard
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
-- Harry Shearer
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.
-- Ogden Nash
Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing.
-- Wernher von Braun
Philosophers say a great deal about what is absolutely necessary for science, and it is always, so far as one can see, rather naive, and probably wrong.
-- Richard Feynman
An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.
-- Alfred A. Knopf
Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
-- Tom Stoppard, "Artist Descending a Staircase"
Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.
-- Bertrand Russell, Mysticism and Logic (1917) ch. 4
If mankind minus one were of one opinion, then mankind is no more justified in silencing the one than the one - if he had the power - would be justified insilencing mankind.
-- John Stuart Mill
Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.
-- H. H. Williams
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
-- Nathaniel Borenstein
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
-- Aeschylus
You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
-- Jeannette Rankin
If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?
-- Vince Lombardi
The most important scientific revolutions all include, as their only common feature, the dethronement of human arrogance from one pedestal after another of previous convictions about our centrality in the cosmos.
-- Stephen Jay Gould
The big thieves hang the little ones.
-- Czech Proverb
In democracy its your vote that counts.; In feudalism its your count that votes.
-- Mogens Jallberg
Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.
-- Gallagher
If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.
-- Isaac Asimov
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
-- E. W. Dijkstra
The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders.
-- Foster's Law
A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
-- Unknown
Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.
-- Cullen Hightower
In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
-- Johann von Neumann
Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box.
-- Italian Proverb
There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.
-- Robert Benchley, Benchley's Law of Distinction
Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?
-- George Wallace
The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
-- Robert R. Coveyou, Oak Ridge National Laboratory
Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten
-- B. F. Skinner
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
-- Will Durant
Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?
-- Kelvin Throop III
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
-- August Strindberg
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
-- Abraham Maslow
Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power.
-- Eric Hoffer
Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.
-- Unknown
Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.
-- George Bernard Shaw
To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
-- Thomas A. Edison
People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.
-- Soren Kierkegaard
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
-- Voltaire
The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards.
-- Arthur Koestler
Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults.
-- Thomas Szasz
Two paradoxes are better than one; they may even suggest a solution.
-- Edward Teller
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
-- Bertrand Russell
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.
-- Daniel J. Boorstin
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction.
-- E. F. Schumacher
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
-- William Dement
A diplomat...is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
-- Caskie Stinnett
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
-- Al Capone
So little time and so little to do.
-- Oscar Levant
Philosophy is a battle against the bewitchment of our intelligence by means of language.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein
The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
-- Robert Frost
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
-- Laurence J. Peter
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
-- Evelyn Waugh
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
-- B. F. Skinner
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'
-- Don Marquis
There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking.
-- Thomas A. Edison
If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
-- Mo Udall
A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
-- Segal's Law
A coupla months in the laboratory can save a coupla hours in the library.
-- Westheimer's Discovery
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
-- Charlie McCarthy, (Edgar Bergen)
Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code.
-- Dave Olson
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
-- Barry LePatner
The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.
-- Sir Richard Francis Burton
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
-- Bradley's Bromide
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
-- H. L. Mencken
The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.'
-- Roy Blount Jr.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
-- Euripides
Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.
-- Eugene McCarthy
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
-- Unknown
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading
--
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
-- Author unknown
Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever.
-- Albert Einstein
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens.
-- Nick Diamos
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
-- Lily Tomlin
What luck for rulers that men do not think.
-- Adolf Hitler
Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.
-- Immanuel Kant
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
-- Wendell Johnson
The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper.
-- Thomas Jefferson
All generalizations are dangerous, even this one.
-- Alexandre Dumas
Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
-- Kin Hubbard
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
-- Joseph Stalin
Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
-- Isaac Asimov
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
-- Douglas Adams
All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.
-- Galileo Galilei
Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist.
-- Harrison Ford, as Indiana Jones
Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.
-- Bertrand Russell
The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.
-- Flip Wilson
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
-- Will Rogers
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
-- A. H. Weiler
The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.
-- Glaser and Way
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
-- John Andrew Holmes
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
-- Plato
Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.
-- Leo Tolstoy
Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.
-- Kurt Vonnegut
They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.
-- Sir Francis Bacon
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
-- Charlie McCarthy, (Edgar Bergen)
I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
-- E. V. Lucas
Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.
-- Ernest Haskins
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
-- Franklin P. Jones
Spare no expense to save money on this one.
-- Samuel Goldwyn
Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.
-- Herman Wouk
Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.
-- Unknown
The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
-- Alvin Toffler
The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. -
- Oscar Wilde
Have you ever observed that we pay much more attention to a wise passage when it is quoted than when we read it in the original author?
-- Philip G. Hamerton, "The Intellectual Life"
I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.
-- Poul Anderson
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
-- Johnny Carson
"Sometimes, majority only means that the fools are on the same side"
-- unknown
It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
-- Alec Bourne
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
-- Albert Einstein
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
-- Galileo Galilei
Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
[Abstract art is] a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp
My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
-- Albert Einstein
" "For every action towards graduation there is an equl and opposite distraction" - Newton's Third Law of Graduation".
-- www.phdcomics.com
" "A grad student in procrastination tends to stay in procastination unless an external force is applied to it" - Newton's First law of Garduation."
-- www.phdcomics.com
" "The age, a, of a doctoral process is directly proportional to the flexibility, F, given by the advisor amd inversely proportional to the student's motivation, m. Hence, mathematically F = m.a" - Newton's Second Law of Graduation."
-- www.phdcomics.com
"The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius."
- Oscar Wilde
"War does not determine who is right - only who is left."
- Bertrand Russell
"Women are like Elephants.. - look at them, never own one"
- Unknown wise man
"When you say "I wrote a program that crashed Windows", people just stare at you blankly and say "Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*"."
- Linus Torvalds
"The box said that I needed to have Windows 98 or better.. so I installed Linux."
- LinuxNewbie.org
"All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed."
- Sean O'Casey
"Computers are like air-conditioners: both stop working, if you open windows."
- Buzz.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing."
- Wernher Von Braun (1912-1977)
"The truth is more important than the facts."
- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)
"The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need."
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues
"Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis."
- Pierre Laplace (1749-1827), to Napoleon on why his works on celestial mechanics make no mention of God.
"Interesting - I use a Mac to help me design the next Cray."
- Seymoure Cray (1925-1996) when he was told that Apple Inc. had recently bought a Cray supercomputer to help them design the next Mac.
"#3 pencils and quadrille pads."
- Seymoure Cray (1925-1996) when asked what CAD tools he used to design the Cray I supercomputer; he also recommended using the back side of the pages so that the grid lines were not so dominant.
"If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?"
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing
"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction."
- General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)
"A poem is never finished, only abandoned."
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)
"I worship the quicksand he walks in."
- Art Buchwald
"Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run."
- Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)
"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan.
"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats."
- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
"Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy."
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
"For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing."
- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
"This isn't right, this isn't even wrong."
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper
"Woman was God's second mistake."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
"Love is friendship set on fire."
- Jeremy Taylor
"I criticize by creation - not by finding fault."
- Cicero (106-43 B.C.)
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher."
- Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964)
"There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole."
- Bill Wulf
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
- Yogi Berra
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
"The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live
"Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame."
- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
"It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both."
- Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527), "The Prince"
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
- Tom Clancy
"The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1841-1935)
"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
- last words of Pancho Villa (1877-1923)
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one."
- Cato the Elder (234-149 BC, AKA Marcus Porcius Cato)
"A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood."
- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
- Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899
"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
- H. M. Warner (1881-1958), founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927
"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible."
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
"Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity."
- Irving Kristol
"The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy."
- Von Clausewitz (1780-1831)
"If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?"
- Will Rogers (1879-1935)
"I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!"
- Will Rogers (1879-1935)
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
- Edmund Burke (1729-1797)
"I think it would be a good idea."
- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), when asked what he thought of Western civilization
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
- Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, 1943
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done."
- Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), while working, when informed that his wife is dying
"There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal."
- Sigfried Hulzer
"The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready."
- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
"Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century."
- Perelman
"A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted."
- Helen Rowland (1876-1950)
"Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd."
- William Congreve (1670-1729)
"The average person thinks he isn't."
- Father Larry Lorenzoni
"Well done is better than well said."
- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
"Silence is argument carried out by other means."
- Ernesto"Che"Guevara (1928-1967)
"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
"Hell is paved with good samaritans."
- William M. Holden
"Never mistake motion for action."
- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)
" The best way to predict the future is to invent it."
- Alan Kay
"A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar."
- Lao-Tzu (570?-490? BC)
"Opportunities multiply as they are seized."
- Sun Tzu
"Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting."
- Karl Wallenda
"It is better to be quotable than to be honest."
- Tom Stoppard
"Criticism is prejudice made plausible."
- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
"Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers."
- T. S. Eliot (1888-1965)
"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."
- Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)
"In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take."
- Adlai Stevenson (1900-1965)
"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."
- Fred Allen (1894-1956)
"Sanity is a madness put to good uses."
- George Santayana (1863-1952)
"To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me."
- Charles William Stubbs
"Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives."
- Abba Eban (1915-2002)
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying."
- Woody Allen (1935-)
"It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant."
- Richard J. Ferris, president of United Airlines
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"Men have become the tools of their tools."
- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
"Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday."
- Woody Allen (1935-)
"Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things."
- Epictetus (55-135 A.D.)
"Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance."
- Plato (427-347 B.C.)
"The cynics are right nine times out of ten."
- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
- Robert Orben
"It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man."
- Professor Scott Elledge on his retirement from Cornell
"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting."
- Gloria Leonard
"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes."
- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
"The gods too are fond of a joke."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."
- Al Capone (1899-1947)
"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate."
- Thomas Jones
"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
- Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)
"Few things are harder to put up with than a good example."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"
- Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to."
- Elvis Presley (1935-1977)
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before."
- Mae West (1892-1980)
"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end."
- Igor Stravinsky (1882-1971)
"Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them."
- Flannery O'Connor (1925-1964)
"The covers of this book are too far apart."
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
"Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure."
- Oliver Herford (1863-1935)
"Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour."
- Gioacchino Rossini (1792-1868)
"I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it."
- Steven Wright
"I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking."
- Katherine Cebrian
"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
"Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
"The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his."
- General George Patton (1885-1945)
"I am not young enough to know everything."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
- Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)
"Behind every great fortune there is a crime."
- Honore de Balzac (1799-1850)
"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty."
- Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)
"The graveyards are full of indispensable men."
- Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)
"University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small."
- Henry Kissinger (1923-)
"Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater."
- Gail Godwin
"He who hesitates is a damned fool."
- Mae West (1892-1980)
"I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known."
- Walt Disney (1901-1966)
"You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
- Yogi Berra
"The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people."
- Lucille S. Harper
"In the end, everything is a gag."
- Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977)
"When ideas fail, words come in very handy."
- Goethe (1749-1832)
"It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."
- Groucho Marx (1895-1977)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas (1900-1966)
"Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech."
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper
"Everything has been figured out, except how to live."
- Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
"Logic is in the eye of the logician."
- Gloria Steinem
"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."
- John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)
"A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies."
- Oscar Wilde
"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)
"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
"A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines."
- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)
"Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do."
- Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)
"I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon."
- Bill Hirst
"What do you take me for, an idiot?"
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy
"Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult."
- C. A. R. Hoare
"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation."
- H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)
"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."
- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"Grove giveth and Gates taketh away."
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep up with software demands
"It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
"The mistakes are all waiting to be made."
- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position
"Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin."
- John von Neumann (1903-1957)
"In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience."
- W.B. Prescott
"In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite."
- Paul Dirac (1902-1984)
"When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong."
- Buckminster Fuller (1895-1983)
"We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?"
- Niels Bohr (1885-1962)
"The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth."
- Niels Bohr (1885-1962)
"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny."
- Guy Davenport
"The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows."
- Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)
"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them."
- Samuel Palmer (1805-80)
"A narcissist is someone better looking than you are."
- Gore Vidal
"Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me."
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
- Socrates (470-399 B.C.)
"Wit is educated insolence."
- Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
"Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so."
- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."
- Mel Brooks
"Luck is the residue of design."
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team
"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)
"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life
"God, please save me from your followers!"
- Bumper Sticker
"Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it"
- Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
"Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together."
- Georg Lichtenberg (1742-1799)
"The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head."
- Jean Cocteau (1889-1963)
"There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread."
- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)
"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."
- Henry Ford (1863-1947)
"I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means."
- Clarence Darrow, Scopes trial, 1925.
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
- Mario Andretti
"I have often regretted my speech, never my silence."
- Xenocrates (396-314 B.C.)
"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance."
- Will Durant
"Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera."
- James Stephens (1882-1950)
"A witty saying proves nothing."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)
"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours."
- Richard Bach in Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul
"A clever man commits no minor blunders."
- Goethe (1749-1832)
"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens."
- Jimi Hendrix
"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance"
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action."
- Auric Goldfinger, in "Goldfinger" by Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)
"It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts."
- G. B. Burgin
"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome."
- Isaac Asimov
"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."
- Antoine de Saint Exupery
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life."
- Frank Zappa
"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."
- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)
"Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down."
- Jimmy Durante
"An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered."
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936)
"You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it."
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874-1936)
"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."
- Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)
"A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship."
- John D. Rockefeller (1874-1960)
"We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time."
- Vince Lombardi
"Black holes are where God divided by zero."
- Steven Wright
"Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth."
- Sherlock Holmes (by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 1859-1930)
"Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact."
- George Eliot (1819-1880)
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
- Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)
"When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world."
- George Washington Carver (1864-1943)
"Facts are the enemy of truth."
- Don Quixote - "Man of La Mancha"
"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death."
- H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916)
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters."
- Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)
"The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."
- unknown
"Talent does what it can; genius does what it must."
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873)
"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
"Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'."
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
"The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance."
- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."
- Paul Erdos
"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg."
- Bjarne Stroustrup
"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense."
- Edsgar Dijkstra
"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."
- George Burns (1896-1996)
"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."
- Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'."
- Yoda ('The Empire Strikes Back')
"Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right."
- Henry Ford (1863-1947)
"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
- Martin Luther King Jr. (1929-1968)
"I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart."
- e e cummings (1894-1962)
"The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work."
- Emile Zola (1840-1902)
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
- Galileo Galilei
"A lie can travel halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
- Haddon Spurgeon, attributing it to an old saying in 1855
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."
- Soren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
"I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better."
- A. J. Liebling (1904-1963)
"If a man does his best, what else is there?"
- General George S. Patton (1885-1945)
"Don't be so humble - you are not that great."
- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat
"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake."
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
- H. G. Wells (1866-1946)